This year has been full of grief and loss. It seems that every where I look, there are people suffering and/or dying. In May (2007), the Lord saw fit to bring my own mother safely to her heavenly home, in His presence. Prior to her home coming, however, there were many years of pain and suffering which only worsened as she neared her transition into eternal life. As I have reflected on the life and death of my mother, I realized that my own sense of grief and loss for her was actually much more profound in the years and months prior to her passing than after.
Death, pain and suffering often present many challenges to our Christian faith - we wonder, "why didn't God answer my prayers to heal or relieve my loved one's suffering?" "Why did he let my child, spouse or friend die?" "How can God be good and allow the things He does?" Part of the problem in dealing with these issues is that we are not asking the right questions. For in our human self centeredness we make the wrong assumption that things should go well for us in this world. Yet the truth is we live in a fallen world; a world full of evil, cursed by God (Gn 3:14,17), and ruled by the evil one (John 14:30) until Christ Returns and brings all His children and creation into the fullness of our redemption through Christ (Romans 8:18-25).
Therefore, a better question to ask, even in the midst of our grief and loss is "Why does any good thing happen to fallen, sinful people who live in a world ruled by the evil one?" It is always more helpful to focus on the truth, that because of God's great love and the sacrifice of His son Jesus, He gives us what we do not deserve. He gives us His salvific grace, the blessings of knowing Him and having our lives sealed with and for Him for all eternity. When the pain of life begins to overwhelm us, the truth of the sovereignty of God assures us that according to the kindness of His Providence "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28).
And yet, we must not be afraid to share our inner most thoughts with the Lord "for the spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the inner depths of his heart" (Proverbs 20:27). He alone is able to give us counsel on the deep concerns of our souls. Lamentations says, "Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord." Grief and loss and brokenness is part of our human nature - Jesus Christ came to bind up the broken hearted. But, unless we acknowledge our brokenness, our pain and our distress to the Lord, how can he bind us up? After all, "those who are well, have no need of a physician, but those who are sick."
Next, we must have a right understanding of God and His promises. Jesus, the Captain of our salvation, was made perfect through His sufferings. If this is true, why do we expect God to spare us from the very things that perfected Christ. In our suffering, we can ask God to fulfill His promises, which as Peter wrote, "trials come so that our faith will be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor to Christ" (paraphrase of 1 Peter 1:6-7). Pray that God would refine your faith through your trials of grief and loss.
And finally, we must understand God's agenda is not or agenda. Human nature dictates that we want a life that is care free, stress free and problem free. This is not the goal of our salvation, nor is it God's plan for us. His plan is singular, to use all things He allows into our lives to conform us into the image of His dear Son, so that Jesus will be the first born among many brothers (paraphrase of Romans 8:27-28).
As long as we resist God's plan, promises and agenda for our lives, we only add to our pain and suffering and miss the eternal perspective that suffering, grief and loss points us to - therefore, "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God" (Col 3:2-3).
