Many Christian couples are struggling with attaining what they consider to be a godly marriage. I often hear from couples that they did everything right before they got married so they are quite confused about why their marriage is so difficult and what they can do about it. God created marriage first and foremost as a reflection of His love for His people, and this ultimately is the simple solution to the problem…love one another as Christ has loved you. (John 13:34)

First, we will address the 2 most important reasons why having a godly marriage is difficult. Then we will address the solutions.

Okay, so why is this so hard

Well, you might be saying, that sounds lovely, but my marriage is far from being the Garden of Eden. In fact, you might be thinking, “all my wife does is complain about how I don’t live up to her standards” or “My husband doesn’t give me the time of day let alone the love and attention you’re talking about.”

You may feel your spouse just doesn’t understand you or what you need. You may often think “If only He/she would listen to me and change, our marriage would be so much better.” You may feel like you’re going insane and rather than fight it any longer you have just decided to do your own thing.

Problem #1 is that we are all fallen creatures

Although we were created in the image of God, that image has been marred beyond recognition in some cases. God is in the process of restoring that image like an artist slowly and methodically. Though our natural inclinations since the fall are those of selfishness, self centeredness, pride and blame…

Our Creator, with his brush in hand is restoring the image of a darkened and discolored masterpiece. (Consider this: it took a team of artists 20 years to completely restore the ceiling of the Sistine chapel!). You may be thinking “You’re right, my spouse is a REAL WORK OF ART!” Sarcasm aside, the truth is you and your spouse are God’s masterpieces that will not be completely restored on this side of heaven.

Problem #2 is the image of God in us has been further disfigured…

by the sinful actions of other fallen human beings who have wounded us in one way or another. A wound is anything that has damaged our sense of person-hood, violated our boundaries, broken our trust, or failed to give love and nurture during a critical time. Without Christ, most soul wounds will result in more selfish and sinful behavior.

Read more marriage advice about how to have a godly marriage