Category Archives: Counseling Tools

Communication Skill Builders For Improving Your Relationships

CommunicationCommunication skill builders are necessary for addressing the number one problem that plagues relationships…communication problems. Whether it’s communication in your marriage or family, or communication problems in the workplace; Christian Counseling Online has some great resources to build up your communication skills…

Because we were created with a deep desire to be understood, communication is the number one issue human beings have to contend with. Our ability to communicate effects the quality of all our relationships. Whether you’re communicating

  • Your needs in your marriage
  • Your ideas in your workplace
  • Your sexual desires in the bedroom

communication skill builders can help you in all these areas.

In fact communication is crucial…

Which brings me to our first communication skill builders…Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

This skill builder is great for those who want to improve communication in any area of their life…but it will be especially effective for helping you improve workplace communication. If your in a supervisory or management position it’s a must read!

Crucial Conversations sets the stage by identifying real life critical errors made in the workplace…errors like a surgeon removing the wrong limb of his patient! (how do you think he explained that one?)

The authors navigate the reader (or listener if you decide to get the CD’s or tapes) through the sequence of events, breaking communication problems down into it’s critical steps like…

  • Removing barriers to effective communication
  • Managing anger and conflict
  • Making communication safe
  • Expressing genuine interest in others
  • Taking action to accomplish your goals

I’m sure you can already see how this workplace communication skill builder would be effective in any communication setting.

For communication skill builders for improving your marriage communication look no further than Norm Wright’s book Communication: Key to Your Marriage .” In his book, Wright provides practical tips on communicating. He covers…

  • Communication styles
  • Sexual differences
  • Resolving conflict
  • The gift of listening
  • Decision making
  • Anger management

Most importantly Wright explains why good communication is key to a happy and fulfilling marriage. He even includes a satisfaction rating scale to help you monitor your communication progress with your spouse.

If you need communication skill builders that go beyond the basics…if you need communication skills that go to the heart of your communication struggles…

Then Paul D. Tripps book, War of Words is the book for you. Tripp goes beyond the basics to help you understand the power of your words. He defines communication from God’s perspective…

Words, the Bible teaches, have the power of life and the power of death… they can wound or they can heal. Through this book you will learn to be a good steward of the gift of communication that God has given you.

Now listen up! Here’s some …if you are willing to learn and practice a few skills, then you can improve your ability to understand and be understood. If you practice your communication skill building, then you will reduce frustration in your marriage and other relationships and you will experience more relational satisfaction then ever before.

Remember, a primary, but little understood goal of communication is to create an experience for your partner of being understood and accepted. One of the most powerful and effective ways to do this is by…

Mirroring, validating and empathizing…All the communication experts teach this basic formula for effective communication. For a printable article on a communication skills activity effective communication.

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10 Steps to Spiritual Discernment

DiscernmentSpiritual discernment, that is how to make godly decisions and choices, discern good from evil, and truth from falsehood. Discernment is also a prerequisite for godly living and spiritual, mental, relational and emotional health. I’ll never forget the lesson relayed to me about a very prominent Bible teacher being deceived by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The story was recounted at a conference where the Bible teacher was speaking.

Human Wisdom and Knowledge is Not the Equivalent of Discernment

This popular teacher was apparently persuaded by one of her “followers,” a new believer, to baptize her because of the tremendous impact her books and teachings had made on her life. This teacher, after much prayer, and godly counsel baptized the woman, only to find out later that the woman she baptized was a complete fraud. 1 Corinthians 2:13-14 tells us that spiritual things can only be discerned by the Holy Spirit.

No One is Immune From Deception
There is not one individual who is immune from deception, because Satan rules the world through a web of deception. Spiritual discernment, like wisdom, provides protection from his

The list below is one of the tools I use to help me rightly judge my own life decisions. Whenever there is a weighty decision before me, I get out my pen and paper and write out and pray through the answers to the following questions. You may come up with a few of your own to add to this list…

1. Is my mind renewed and conformed by God’s word? Having a renewed mind is an ongoing process, which requires consistently and earnestly seeking God through His word and prayer. Additionally one must actively reject being conformed to the patterns, influences and customs of the world. (Romans 12:1-2)

2. Does it line up with God’s Word? Discernment requires us to take our thoughts captive. That means we must look at our thoughts and hold them up to the light of God’s word. In other words, if I am discerning a new business or ministry idea, I must examine all my thoughts and ideas about it and consider whether each aspect of the plan is in line with God’s word. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). The concept, ideas and motives cannot in anyway violate God’s word or moral law which was summed up in the law of love (Galatians 5:14).

3. Am I willing to say yes? Am I willing to say no? Until we are at the place where we are willing to say both yes and no to our dream, vision or plan we run the risk of being deceived by our own motives. God desires obedience to His word over the work of our hands (1 Samuel 15:22). If we are clinging to an idea or vision so strongly that we are unwilling to let it go then there is a good possibility that there is too much of “me” in the mix and therefore “me” will distort my understanding of the word and my sensitivity to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

4. What do I stand to gain? Paul wrote in Philippians 3, “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. There is always something to gain from what we do… even those things we do exclusively for God. It’s not that gain is wrong, but we must be discerning of our motives by identifying and facing them full on.

5. What do I stand to lose/sacrifice? Jesus said (Luke 14:28) we need to count the cost. The cost of following Him. He expects us to give it all up for Him even our family relationships must not get in the way of following Christ.

6. Whose approval am I looking for? Whose approval will I get? Galatians 1:10 states, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Having been made for relationship the fear of rejection and the need for approval are extremely strong, often unconscious, motivators in our lives. Our motives must be examined to ensure that what drives us is the approval of God not men.

7. Am I willing to try and fail? Success is God’s work. Our work is to believe in and to know the Lord Jesus Christ and the One who sent Him (John 6:29, 17:3). God calls us to step out and walk by faith not sight (2 Cor 5:7). Many times it “feels” like God is calling us to do a certain thing when in reality it’s just the thing He’s using to get us to step out…it is just a stepping stone to the ultimate destination. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

8. What will others gain? The second commandment calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). Others should benefit in some way from the choices and plans we carry out in our lives.

9. What feedback have I received from wise counsel? Proverbs 15:22 states, Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed and make plans by seeking advice (Proverbs 20:18). Many a young couple has entered into marriage against the advisement of their parents and other godly counsel only to discover down the road, they should have listened.

10. Is my greatest desire to see God glorified? Colossians 1:17 states, for by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. Because God deserves all the glory, honor and praise in the whole universe He commands us to do everything for His glory so …whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (2 Corinthians 10:31).

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Godly Behavior Management Plan

A Godly Behavior Management Plan – Behavior Modification Plan

Whether it be a plan for parenting or for working with children in a therapeutic setting, a godly behavior plan begins with understanding training and discipline from God’s perspective…

Godly discipline flows out of Fatherly love

God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. (Hebrews 12:10-12)

If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. (Hebrews 12:8)

Behavior Modification or Godly Discipline

Of course God’s plan is a parenting plan, not a behavior management plan, there is a vast difference. Behavior management is a clinical term used to describe therapeutic behavior modification techniques for shaping behavior. Behaviorism by itself does not concern itself with the heart and mind of the individual. Because many behavior management techniques can be very effective, this special report includes many standard techniques. However the counselor or parent should keep in mind the goal is to lead the child to a closer relationship with Christ not just to modify outward behavior.

Christian parenting however is radically different as it encompasses the concepts of Fatherly love, training in godliness, the image of God in each child, the need to shape the heart/mind from which righteous behavior flow, and most importantly the gospel of Jesus Christ set into motion.

Behavoral Reformation Begins with Heart Transformation

As followers of Christ we are to intentionally align our purpose with God’s, conform our hearts with the word, and be empowered by the Holy Spirit. Whether you are a Christian clinician or a parent who wants to help your child – God’s desire for your children is to make them more like Christ. Therefore the starting point to help your child change is submitting your own self to God and diligently seeking Him with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength. He will lead and guide you by His Holy Spirit to discipline and train your children in the way they should go.

The word is full of instruction on parenting…afterall, God’s main objective is to create a family. He conforms us and sanctifies us by His loving discipline and we, whether counselors, behavior programmers or parents, are to model our heavenly Father to the children we work with.

Comprehensive Behavioral Training Plan for Immediate Download

This Special training Report will be found useful by therapists and parents alike.

This training material was originally written for training parents and staff in a residential setting who were working with many behavior disordered children. This training outline does include many standard behavior modification techniques that are typically used in behavioral treatment settings. I welcome therapists to use this material in their own practices to use in group or individual training. A great way to expand your clinical territory and influence is to hold workshops.

This Download includes:

  • Training outline plus notes
  • Training outline without notes to be used as a handout
  • Outline includes names of recommended book resources

This 16 page comprehensive training report for dealing with difficult children:

  • Is well organized
  • Has scriptural support and principals for each section
  • Is easy to follow and digest
  • Offers practical solutions and examples in the notes

The sixteen (16) sections of this report covers

  • Biblical definition of and explanation of discipline
  • Criteria for identifying problem behavior
  • Possible causes of behavior problems
  • Identifying the target behaviors
  • The importance of creating relational safety for your child
  • Identifying positive and negative consequences
  • Explanation of behavior management techniques
  • Potential sources of frustration and stress in children
  • Signs of increased frustration
  • Crisis prevention tips
  • Caregiver soul care tips
  • And more

Download your special training report NOW for only $11.97
Order today and receive 4 bonus forms:

Buy Now BlueBonus Tool #1

  • Goal Tracking Form This form has spaces to track up to 4 goals on a daily basis, with sections to record names, supplements, medications and special dietary requirements.

Bonus Tool #2

  • 2 Page Biopsychosocial Checklist useful for collecting important caregiver information necessary to accurately discern and diagnose the real problem and set meaningful goals.

Bonus Tool #3

  • Child Progress Note useful to help teach your young clients to journal, remember and internalize important principles from your sessions together.

Bonus Tool #4

  • Bible Study on Understand Forgiveness useful for leading children to an understanding of Christ’s work on the cross. Comes in 2 documents: 1) A bible study worksheet for the child. 2.) A bible study worksheet with notes for the counselor or caregiver.

Download your special training report + 4 bonuses NOW for only $11.97

(Important: Your product will be delivered to you through a secure download page.
You will also receive an email directing you to the download page.)

Buy Now Blue

Christian Family Book Store

The Name of the LORD is a Strong Tower

The Name of the LORD is a Strong Tower

The Christian Family Book Store is your place for finding excellent Christian resources. The Christian Family Book Store has resources that will help you find hope and encouragement and move you and your family closer to your personal goals for godly living.

The Christian Family Book Store is organized by topic below. Simply Click on the following topical links in the Christian Family Book Store to see the selections offered:

To find a specific title or topic, use our convenient search tool…

One of the three keys to change is knowledge. Acquiring knowledge through reading can help you overcome the issues you struggle with. Reading however is not a substitute for professional counseling…if you are in need of counseling click here.