Interpersonal Relationship Tips

Christian Counseling Online is your resource for Biblical help, like providing you with interpersonal relationship tips. In this article on communication skills you will learn....

Four Steps to improving your relationships.

We spend about 80% of our time communicating, yet most of us have spent very little time learning how to communicate well. If you want to improve your relationships, you must improve your communication skills.

First, Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6).

My husband and I have a saying that goes, "Some people talk just to hear their marble rattle."

You know, like the marbles in a paint can that rattle, rattle, rattle while you're shaking up the paint.

Good relationships are more likely to develop when you the speaker don't spend valuable time and energy grumbling and complaining about what bothers you. No body enjoys listening to a complainer, so examine the content of your speech and determine what it is that you talk about the most. Then decide whether your words are full of grace.

Interpersonal Relationship Tip:
Don't dominate the conversation, or overwhelm your listener with too many words.

Second, Ecclesiastes 6:11 says The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone? Have you ever talked to someone who doesn't let you get in a word edgewise? We all know someone who totally dominates the conversation...

What about you? Have you ever listened to yourself speak? Conversation, like relationship, is built on give and take. You say a little, then the other person responds. The other person says something, then you respond. Like playing a game of tennis. You take turns hitting the ball back and forth over the net. Each person participates in a more or less balanced conversation. An interpersonal relationship is built on balance.

Interpersonal Relationship Tip:
Learn to be a great listener by being slow to speak.

Third, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). Someone said that listening is 90% of communication. Of course hearing is not the same as listening. Active listening means we take an active role in communicating. Hearing on the other hand is a function of our physiology. Active listening requires the listener to care about what the other person is saying...that is a requirement for good relationships.

The person who actively listens, listens out of empathy and other centeredness, rather than self-centeredness. Active listening reminds us that communication is mostly about relationships, not simply an exchange of information.

Interpersonal Relationship Tip:
Build others up with your words...don't tear anyone down.

Finally, Ephesians 4:29 says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Wow! What if we all did that. Well Paul makes two important points...

Don't use coarse language. Don't say offensive things.
Use your words to build up other people.

How often do you or those you have personal relationships with talk about the negatives? How often do you complain about what someone did or didn't do? Paul is admonishing us to make building others up the focus of our conversations.

Be sure to use your words to build others up and not tear them down. The Bible has lots to tell us about how to do interpersonal relationships right. If you are single and want some great tips on building healthy dating relationships click here. May God bless you as you work to improve your interpersonal relationship skill.

If you would like some counseling help in the area of interpersonal relationships click here.

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