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Intimacy with God: Developing a Personal Relationship with Him

forest Intimacy with God is the sacred romance that we all long for. Yes, we ALL long for intimacy ~ many of us don’t realize it, because we have suppressed it. We have even neatly buried our need for satisfying and fulfilling human relationships under the rubble of “I don’t need people” or “relationships are too hard” type attitudes.

And sometimes it does seem easier to hang onto this type of attitude because the reality is our human relationships will at sometime, in some way fall short and disappoint us. It’s just inevitable with a sinful nature, albeit a nature that is being redeemed.

But, and now HEAR THIS loudly and clearly, God will never disappoint us. Although we don’t always understand God’s ways and we may not always like them, He is completely trustworthy because God is ALL He says He is. He is the GREAT I AM, He is THE PROMISE KEEPER, The Alpha and the Omega, The Ancient of Days and our heavenly Father.

But what does a personal relationship with God look like?

A personal relationship is an intimate relationship. Now I didn’t say a sexual relationship, I said an intimate relationship. Many people when they hear the word intimacy, the first thing they think of is sex. Which leads me to my next point, since many of us don’t have a good grasp on what it means to have an intimate relationship with a human being it stands to reason there would be some confusion about what a personal relationship with God looks like.

Here are some ideas about what a personal relationship with God might look like:

You want to be with God and spend time with Him and get to know Him better so you study His love letters to you.
Even though you can’t see God and you don’t audibly hear his voice that doesn’t hinder your relationship because you know He is ever present, and always listening.
You invite Him into every area of your life…you don’t exclude Him from ANYTHING you do!
You do this by speaking to Him conversationally in your mind and out loud with your voice…it’s called prayer
You trust Him with and talk to Him about your deepest needs, hurts, pain, shames, desires and dreams because you know He will NEVER reject you.
When you see His work in your life or other people’s lives you feel joy and happiness and you tell Him “thank you, thank you, thank you…I love you.”
You are compelled to adore Him. You think about how great and wonderful and awesome He is and you praise Him in your heart and out loud with your mouth, and sometimes spontaneously with psalms and songs of praise.
Because you love Him and He means the world to you, you talk about Him to your friends. You are not embarrassed to speak about Him or to let people know you love Him.
You honor Him by your obedience to His word because you are so thankful and grateful that He has forgiven you of your sins.
You want to please God in everything you do and you LEARN to trust Him with everything.
You confess your sin to Him and ask for help to turn away from your sinful ways. You welcome His loving discipline in your life.
You consciously and regularly acknowledge the reality that your relationship with God was birthed in you through the work of Christ on the cross, His resurrection, and God’s enabling you to respond in faith to that truth and the Spirit of Christ who came to live in you when you responded in faith.

Life is enriched

Intimacy with God is something that develops and matures over time as you INVEST in the relationship. It has seasons and colors and flavors to it like some of the other good things that life has to offer. Not that God can be compared to other good things life has to offer for He is transcendant in all His ways. We need not fear that our lives will become more mundane and the world around us less enjoyable as we yield to God and enter more deeply into that personal relationship.

This ultimate fulfillment and life satisfaction we each desire comes from only one Source, the wellspring of life that is a relationship with the Living God. It is this intimacy with God that also gives life and health to our relationships with others, especially those closest to us. Invest wisely in your relationship with God and you will be on your way to experiencing the greatest satisfaction life has to offer.

Reading and studying the the Torah (first 5 books Genesis -Deuteronomy) is a good place to start an intimate relationship with God.

Alcoholism and the Effects on the Family

depressed-man I am familiar with alcoholism and the effects on the family. I grew up in a family where there was much alcohol abuse. My family had alcohol abuse issues on both sides. Based on the More Bonuses and information given on this site, both my parents and grandfathers abused alcohol. Now, the problem has also effected my siblings. I, by the grace of God, left my alcohol abuse years behind. That was in my teens and early 20’s.

It’s not easy to forget the family memories however: The many ruined holidays, weekends and trips to camp. I remember hoping Christmas after Christmas this would be the one when Mum and Dad would not end up drinking and fighting.

The fear of my Dad becoming so drunk that it would kill him was also very intense. Due to his drinking, Dad would go into a type of asthma attack where he could not catch his breath. It was terribly frightening for a child. Then there was the fear of my friends seeing my parents in a drunken, arguing state. This was a source of shame and embarrassment to me as a teen. Because of their unavailability, I also began to turn to alcohol and other illicit activities to get my needs met.

On top of my parent’s drinking problems, my grandfather’s drinking also impacted our family. I loved that man. But when he drank, it was scary. Once he holed himself up in his house with a shot gun. Another time he fell down and nearly broke his nose. When he walked into our house all bloodied, I was terrified. My mother has told me stories which I shall not repeat.

So just from these few stories you can clearly see that alcoholism and the effects on the family can include: trauma to children, creating a fearful and unstable home environment, encouraging parentified children, and encouraging children to find solace in other people and things.

Another clear effect of alcoholism on the family is the tendency for the pattern to be repeated. The pattern may not only be repeated in alcohol abuse. The pattern can be repeated in other substance abuse issues as well as codependency which involves many dysfunctional family dynamics. Research shows a well defined tendency for alcoholism to run in families.

Continue to second page of effects of alcoholism…

10 Steps to Spiritual Discernment

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Spiritual discernment, that is how to make godly decisions and choices, discern good from evil, and truth from falsehood. Discernment is also a prerequisite for godly living and spiritual, mental, relational and emotional health. I’ll never forget the lesson relayed to me about a very prominent Bible teacher being deceived by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The story was recounted at a conference where the Bible teacher was speaking.

Human Wisdom and Knowledge is Not the Equivalent of Discernment

This popular teacher was apparently persuaded by one of her “followers,” a new believer, to baptize her because of the tremendous impact her books and teachings had made on her life. This teacher, after much prayer, and godly counsel baptized the woman, only to find out later that the woman she baptized was a complete fraud. 1 Corinthians 2:13-14 tells us that spiritual things can only be discerned by the Holy Spirit.

No One is Immune From Deception
There is not one individual who is immune from deception, because Satan rules the world through a web of deception. Spiritual discernment, like wisdom, provides protection from his

The list below is one of the tools I use to help me rightly judge my own life decisions. Whenever there is a weighty decision before me, I get out my pen and paper and write out and pray through the answers to the following questions. You may come up with a few of your own to add to this list…

1. Is my mind renewed and conformed by God’s word? Having a renewed mind is an ongoing process, which requires consistently and earnestly seeking God through His word and prayer. Additionally one must actively reject being conformed to the patterns, influences and customs of the world. (Romans 12:1-2)

2. Does it line up with God’s Word? Discernment requires us to take our thoughts captive. That means we must look at our thoughts and hold them up to the light of God’s word. In other words, if I am discerning a new business or ministry idea, I must examine all my thoughts and ideas about it and consider whether each aspect of the plan is in line with God’s word. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). The concept, ideas and motives cannot in anyway violate God’s word or moral law which was summed up in the law of love (Galatians 5:14).

3. Am I willing to say yes? Am I willing to say no? Until we are at the place where we are willing to say both yes and no to our dream, vision or plan we run the risk of being deceived by our own motives. God desires obedience to His word over the work of our hands (1 Samuel 15:22). If we are clinging to an idea or vision so strongly that we are unwilling to let it go then there is a good possibility that there is too much of “me” in the mix and therefore “me” will distort my understanding of the word and my sensitivity to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

4. What do I stand to gain? Paul wrote in Philippians 3, “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. There is always something to gain from what we do… even those things we do exclusively for God. It’s not that gain is wrong, but we must be discerning of our motives by identifying and facing them full on.

5. What do I stand to lose/sacrifice? Jesus said (Luke 14:28) we need to count the cost. The cost of following Him. He expects us to give it all up for Him even our family relationships must not get in the way of following Christ.

6. Whose approval am I looking for? Whose approval will I get? Galatians 1:10 states, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Having been made for relationship the fear of rejection and the need for approval are extremely strong, often unconscious, motivators in our lives. Our motives must be examined to ensure that what drives us is the approval of God not men.

7. Am I willing to try and fail? Success is God’s work. Our work is to believe in and to know the Lord Jesus Christ and the One who sent Him (John 6:29, 17:3). God calls us to step out and walk by faith not sight (2 Cor 5:7). Many times it “feels” like God is calling us to do a certain thing when in reality it’s just the thing He’s using to get us to step out…it is just a stepping stone to the ultimate destination. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

8. What will others gain? The second commandment calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). Others should benefit in some way from the choices and plans we carry out in our lives.

9. What feedback have I received from wise counsel? Proverbs 15:22 states, Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed and make plans by seeking advice (Proverbs 20:18). Many a young couple has entered into marriage against the advisement of their parents and other godly counsel only to discover down the road, they should have listened.

10. Is my greatest desire to see God glorified? Colossians 1:17 states, for by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. Because God deserves all the glory, honor and praise in the whole universe He commands us to do everything for His glory so …whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (2 Corinthians 10:31).

Related Posts For You:

Spiritual Discernment

Christian Dating Advice from the Scriptures

Tips For Single Christians Dating

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Tips for Singles Single Christians dating need to learn how to pick people with godly character traits…as well as be a person of godly character!

Being a Christian and member of a church does not inoculate you from being drawn into an unhealthy relationship. In this article on Christian dating tips you will find…

What character traits to look for in a potential date.
How to recognize the signs of a healthy relationship.
One question single Christians dating can ask themselves that will powerfully guide them in making the right dating decisions.

As always we look to the scriptures for our help. In the book of Ruth we find the story of Ruth and Boaz…two Christian singles.

The story opens onto a scene where Naomi (Ruth’s mother-in-law) is at a crossroads in her life. Her husband has died. Both of her sons (one of whom was Ruth’s husband) have also died. Naomi is in despair and decides to go back home to Bethlehem in Judah.

In her despair, Naomi tries to push Ruth and Orpah, her daughters-in-law away. She entreats them to stay in Moab. But despite Naomi’s weeping and wailing, Ruth insists on remaining with Naomi. Orpah, however, retreats and turns back.

Ruth demonstrates responsibility, courage, maturity and loyalty in her determination to remain with Naomi. After all, Bethlehem was not her home town, the Jews were not her people…

When they arrive in Bethlehem, Ruth, consistent with her vow to Naomi in chapter 1, goes and finds a job gleaning in a barley field. Gleaning was picking up whatever grain was left behind by the harvesters. Gleaning was the work of very poor people.

In the field Ruth “just happens” to meet Boaz. He is a wealthy relative of Naomi’s dead husband. Listen to what Boaz’s foreman had to say about Ruth’s character: “She said, Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters. She went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter.”

Boaz discovers that Ruth is a hard worker, who takes seriously her vow to care for her mother-in-law. Ruth did not come expecting a handout. She came with a willing heart to work.

Now let’s take a look at the character traits of Boaz…verses 8-12 in chapter 2 speak volumes about Boaz. Listen to what Boaz says to Ruth: My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with my servant girls. Watch the field where the men are harvesting, and follow along after the girls. I have told the men not to touch you. And whenever you are thirsty, go and get a drink from the water jars the men have filled.

Boaz is the prototype of true masculinity. While Ruth is working in his fields he protects her. He provides for her. He treats her with the utmost respect. Later on Boaz compliments Ruth’s willingness to provide for Naomi and blesses her in the name of the Lord. It’s likely for Ruth that this feels like the beginning of a safe relationship. Single Christians need good information on how to build healthy relationships.

It’s interesting to note that Boaz builds Ruth up. He does not offer empty platitudes or flirtatious remarks that make her feel compromised or uncomfortable. His remarks communicate his respect for Ruth and her priorities.

How does Ruth respond to Boaz’s graciousness…

Ruth responds with humility and thankfulness. Ruth is not too proud to except Boaz’s provision for her and Naomi. Neither is she embarrassed by her needy situation. She is willing to do what it takes and receives Boaz’s kindness as the blessing that it is from the Lord.

Most importantly, this appears to be the beginning of a relationship which will draw her closer to God and affirm her beliefs and her values. Single Christians dating need to avoid relationships that compromise their Christian values.

Throughout the book of Ruth, Boaz continues to express great integrity. Ruth is the new girl on the block. She is not familiar with the customs of the Jews and Boaz is sensitive to her emotional vulnerability. He tells his men be gentle with her. He offers her grace when she makes mistakes. In healthy relationships people feel safe to be themselves. They feel safe enough to make mistakes, because the expectation is not perfection.

Selecting the right mate is a decision that will affect the quality of the rest of your life. For more christian dating advice from the book of Ruth click here.

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