Author Archives: Jean L

Christian Dating Advice from the Scriptures

Single Christians need Christian dating advice from the scriptures to guide them safely in relationships with the opposite sex.

The book of Ruth provides us with some of the best christian dating tips available. Click here to read about Christian dating advice from chapters 1-2 of the book of Ruth.

In chapter 3, the story begins to heat up a bit. Naomi and Ruth both realize that it is through the kindness of God that Ruth ended up in Boaz’s field. Boaz we find out is Naomi’s kinsman. According to Hebrew law the next of kin was responsible for redeeming the dead man’s property and widow…

But, it’s not just that Boaz is a kinsman that Naomi considers him for Ruth. Boaz is a man of godly character. She can in all good conscience encourage this union. Notice, they did not go out looking for a “kinsman redeemer.” They saw the hand of God’s providence and they acted consistent with what God was doing. Single Christians dating need to be in tune with the Providence of God.

Next, Naomi instructs Ruth in the ways of courtship. She tells her to wash and perfume herself, and put on her best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, where Boaz is working. She instructs her to not interrupt his work, nor his eating and drinking. “When he lies down,” she says, “go and uncover his feet and lie down.” Ruth answers, “I will do whatever you say.”

In these passages Ruth’s character continues to be revealed. Ruth is a lady who does not despise, but welcomes the mentoring and wisdom of her mother-in-law…

When Boaz awakes in the middle of the night and sees this woman lying at his feet, he could have taken advantage of the situation. But Ruth has already proven herself to be a woman of noble character. And Boaz has already shown himself to be a godly man. As an agent of God, he takes seriously his responsibility to protect Ruth. When Boaz asks “who are you,”…

She essentially says, “I remember your blessing and the many kindnesses you have shown me. I have seen God’s provision in my life through you. Now I am asking you to shelter me under your wings. I am asking you to pledge your faithfulness to me in a covenant of marriage.”

This scene, on the threshing floor, is a powder keg of passion that is ready to explode. It is likely that both Ruth and Boaz were experiencing a heightened sense of passion. Ruth is looking and smelling her best. The feelings that Boaz has kept hidden in his heart for Ruth have suddenly been ignited by her words and her actions.

In this very unusual scene, we don’t know why Naomi instructed Ruth to go lie at Boaz’s feet…but what we do know is…though Ruth was looking her best, she did not compromise Boaz by snuggling up to him. She lay at a safe place, at his feet. Like Ruth, Christian singles dating need to maintain healthy boundaries.

Their integrity and faithfulness to one another and to God was further demonstrated in their incredible self-control. They were both focused on righteousness and faithfulness. They were not out to enjoy just a moment of lustful pleasure. They were focused on entering into a covenant of faithfulness and righteousness that lasts a lifetime.

Selecting the right mate will affect the quality of the rest of your life. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. At Christian Counseling Online we are passionate about helping you have the best relationships possible by providing you with Biblical Christian dating advice.

Tips For Single Christians Dating

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Tips for Singles Single Christians dating need to learn how to pick people with godly character traits…as well as be a person of godly character!

Being a Christian and member of a church does not inoculate you from being drawn into an unhealthy relationship. In this article on Christian dating tips you will find…

What character traits to look for in a potential date.
How to recognize the signs of a healthy relationship.
One question single Christians dating can ask themselves that will powerfully guide them in making the right dating decisions.

As always we look to the scriptures for our help. In the book of Ruth we find the story of Ruth and Boaz…two Christian singles.

The story opens onto a scene where Naomi (Ruth’s mother-in-law) is at a crossroads in her life. Her husband has died. Both of her sons (one of whom was Ruth’s husband) have also died. Naomi is in despair and decides to go back home to Bethlehem in Judah.

In her despair, Naomi tries to push Ruth and Orpah, her daughters-in-law away. She entreats them to stay in Moab. But despite Naomi’s weeping and wailing, Ruth insists on remaining with Naomi. Orpah, however, retreats and turns back.

Ruth demonstrates responsibility, courage, maturity and loyalty in her determination to remain with Naomi. After all, Bethlehem was not her home town, the Jews were not her people…

When they arrive in Bethlehem, Ruth, consistent with her vow to Naomi in chapter 1, goes and finds a job gleaning in a barley field. Gleaning was picking up whatever grain was left behind by the harvesters. Gleaning was the work of very poor people.

In the field Ruth “just happens” to meet Boaz. He is a wealthy relative of Naomi’s dead husband. Listen to what Boaz’s foreman had to say about Ruth’s character: “She said, Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters. She went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter.”

Boaz discovers that Ruth is a hard worker, who takes seriously her vow to care for her mother-in-law. Ruth did not come expecting a handout. She came with a willing heart to work.

Now let’s take a look at the character traits of Boaz…verses 8-12 in chapter 2 speak volumes about Boaz. Listen to what Boaz says to Ruth: My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with my servant girls. Watch the field where the men are harvesting, and follow along after the girls. I have told the men not to touch you. And whenever you are thirsty, go and get a drink from the water jars the men have filled.

Boaz is the prototype of true masculinity. While Ruth is working in his fields he protects her. He provides for her. He treats her with the utmost respect. Later on Boaz compliments Ruth’s willingness to provide for Naomi and blesses her in the name of the Lord. It’s likely for Ruth that this feels like the beginning of a safe relationship. Single Christians need good information on how to build healthy relationships.

It’s interesting to note that Boaz builds Ruth up. He does not offer empty platitudes or flirtatious remarks that make her feel compromised or uncomfortable. His remarks communicate his respect for Ruth and her priorities.

How does Ruth respond to Boaz’s graciousness…

Ruth responds with humility and thankfulness. Ruth is not too proud to except Boaz’s provision for her and Naomi. Neither is she embarrassed by her needy situation. She is willing to do what it takes and receives Boaz’s kindness as the blessing that it is from the Lord.

Most importantly, this appears to be the beginning of a relationship which will draw her closer to God and affirm her beliefs and her values. Single Christians dating need to avoid relationships that compromise their Christian values.

Throughout the book of Ruth, Boaz continues to express great integrity. Ruth is the new girl on the block. She is not familiar with the customs of the Jews and Boaz is sensitive to her emotional vulnerability. He tells his men be gentle with her. He offers her grace when she makes mistakes. In healthy relationships people feel safe to be themselves. They feel safe enough to make mistakes, because the expectation is not perfection.

Selecting the right mate is a decision that will affect the quality of the rest of your life. For more christian dating advice from the book of Ruth click here.

Christian Singles How to Build Healthy Relationships

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embracing-couple Christian singles, do you want to maximize your relationship success? Then learn how to pick people with godly character traits…as well as be a person of godly character!

Let’s take a look at what healthy and satisfying relationships look like…

Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach in their book Safe People that healthy relationships…

Are safe — emotionally, physically
Have boundaries that are respected
Draw you closer to God — helping Christian singles to grow spiritually.
Do not compromise your Christian values

In healthy relationships you will feel:

Built up — the relationship helps you become who God wants you to be.
Drawn closer to others in a healthy way
Mutual trust, respect, vulnerability, and balanced sense of give and take.

Christian singles, you will experience healthy and satisfying relationships by looking for a mate based on Christian principles and choosing to be a person of godly character.

It is common even for Christian singles to be attracted to the outside of a person: their looks, their status, their achievements, and their intelligence. But it is the inside of a person that we experience in relationships.

The time to evaluate character in others is before you get too deeply involved. As Cloud and Townsend say, “When the attachment deepens, the reasoning weakens.” The scriptures warn us to “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23.

What kind of character traits should Christian singles look for?

Ruth and Boaz, two singles from the Bible, exemplify the kind of character traits to look for in a potential mate.

Ruth’s character traits were: devotion to God and to family — the evidence of her character was in her actions. She was humble and teachable. She was focused on her responsibilities. Her faith was in God to provide for her — she trusted Him for a future spouse. She was a woman of her word. She did what she said she would do.

Boaz was devoted to God and to his farming responsibilities. He did not let his heart become entangled and he was not distracted from his priorities. He was a man of his word. He did what he said he would do. He was a Christ-type — he exemplified the character and work of Christ – especially in his act of redemption for Ruth.

Christian singles Ruth and Boaz both…

Depended on God
Followed His commands
Reflected His character

Becoming a person of character requires that you take ownership

You are the only one that can do it. If you have a pattern of painful relationships take an honest look at your own character traits. To find someone who can connect with you, you must be able to connect. To find someone with good boundaries you must be willing to set Boundaries in Dating

Once you have acknowledged your own negative patterns of behavior in relationships take them to the Lord and confess them for what they are…sin

Once you’ve identified the problems, make a plan to change. If it’s poor boundaries read a book. Set some limits. Develop a support system. Nurture the relationships that you have. Share a little bit more of who you are with safe people. Learn to take risks.

Take care of personal baggage

If you have unresolved issues such as trauma, abuse, abandonment or neglect and you recognize a pattern of painful relationships–find someone who will help you like a pastor or a counselor.

When people have been traumatized by these things as children, they often need to make Changes that Heal in order to function well in close relationships in the future.

Finally, Christian singles need a plan for spiritual growth. God’s primary work in each of us is to conform us to the image of Christ. As you devote yourself to God and His word, and yield to His Holy Spirit, your character will change.

My final word to Christian singles is make knowing and loving God a priority in your life and look for a potential mate who has committed to the same thing.

Intensive Marriage Workshop

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Make Your Marriage Work God’s Way is an intensive Christ centered marriage workshop. One of the best investments you can make in yourself, your family and God’s Kingdom is in your marriage.

This marriage workshop is for you if …

You want to strengthen your relationship
You are stuck in unresolved conflict
You are considering marriage
You are open to change
You desire more intimacy
You want a truly Christ centered marriage

The goals of the Make Your Marriage Work God’s Way intensive marriage workshop include helping couples to develop skills to…

Improve daily communication
Create a safe environment to foster intimacy
Navigate conflict successfully
Respect, enjoy and appreciate their differences
Experience and appropriate God’s love and grace
Restore agape love and passion
Live out the gospel of God’s grace in marriage

Workshop format…

In this workshop couples will have the opportunity to strengthen, enrich and rejuvenate their relationships through listening to brief teachings, viewing demonstrations, practicing skills and learning from others.

This workshop can be considered the equivalent of 3-6 months of consistent couples counseling. A $1000 – $1500.00 value.

The 15 hour intensive workshop covers…

Laying the Foundation – Creating a Marriage Vision
Understanding God’s Design – Creating Safety
Communication – Unlocking the Key to Intimacy
Resolving Conflict – Opportunities for Intimacy
Identifying Your Emotional Needs – Creating a Happy Marriage

Would you like to host a workshop at your church?

The Benefits of hosting a Marriage Workshop at your church…

Support your couples and families by offering skill based training
Build up the body of Christ and strengthen the local church
Healthy couples are better equipped to serve and mentor others
Help couples to learn practical ways to live a Christ centered life

Workshop cost and participation Guidelines...

Work shop is on a donation basis per couple
Materials are $10.00 per couple
Participants must be available to participate in the entire workshop.

If you are interested in hosting a Marriage Workshop intensive at your church in Brevard County area please contact me through the comment form below.

Christian Help for Depression is Available

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Help for Depression

The good news is there is tons of Christian help for depression available for those that struggle with not only with depression but other emotional and mental issues as well. Unfortunately, the stigma of having emotional, mental and even relationship struggles is still very prevalent in much of the church.

It is not unusual for me to hear something like this from people I meet: “I can’t let anyone know about my problem, Christians aren’t suppose to struggle like this.” Sadly, many Christians continue to languish like the cripple at the pool of Bethesda, only thinking about getting help for their struggles. Instead of getting help, they allow themselves to be deceived by the evil one who taunts, “If your faith was strong enough, you would be able to work out your problems on your own.”

Where do we get the idea that Christians who struggle with mental and emotional issues are weak or lacking in faith? Where do we get the idea that we are to be self sufficient? Where do we get the idea that when we become Christians we instantaneously arrive at nirvana – total mental, emotional and physical well being? Where do we get the idea that there is something wrong with asking for help when we are struggling emotionally, spiritually or relationally?

Could we be getting the idea from one another? In my experience, it is a rare sight for someone to stand up in a prayer meeting, Sunday school or small group to ask for prayer because they are struggling with obsessive thoughts, depression, thoughts of suicide, jealously, anger, or fear. Could it be that we feel ashamed about the deep struggles of our hearts…so much so that we are reluctant to share them even with our closest friends?

Yet the truth is there are many examples of Christian men and women who suffered from emotional and mental problems. Charles Spurgeon, one of the most prolific and well loved preachers of history, is known for suffering from deep depression…In a sermon he preached after being out of the pulpit for 3 Sundays he shared this…

I was lying upon my couch during this last week, and my spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for — but a very slight thing will move me to tears just now — and a kind friend was telling me of some poor old soul living near, who was suffering very great pain, and yet she was full of joy and rejoicing. I was so distressed by the hearing of that story, and felt so ashamed of myself, that I did not know what to do; wondering why I should be in such a state as this; while this poor woman, who had a terrible cancer, and was in the most frightful agony, could nevertheless “rejoice with joy unspeakable, and full of glory.”

Sounds like Spurgeon had his share of well meaning friends, who also sent him the not so subtle message of , “what’s wrong with you? You, of all people, should be living the victorious Christian life.” Another prominent Christian man, William Cowper, poet and hymn writer, suffered multiple mental breakdowns as well as suicidal attempts. After one such attempt, convicted by the Holy Spirit that his intentions were evil, he threw down his vial of laudanum and soon after was inspired to write one of his most moving and well known hymns: “There is a Fountain Filled with blood.”

Ruth Bell Graham, a Christian contemporary wrote, “I know what its like to sit in a pew with a broken heart. For years I sat in church with my fears, doubts and disappointments, thinking I was alone in my condition. Those around me seemed to have it all together.”

As each of these men and women of God learned first hand, God anointed His Son Jesus to bind up the broken hearted, remove our shame, and lovingly accept us with open arms no matter what our condition. God has a special love for the oppressed, the hurting, and the sick.

There is so much Christian help for depression as well as for those suffering from other emotional and mental struggles. Even the scientific research is clearly showing that there are many remedies for the treatment of depression: healthy and supportive relationships, exercise, cognitive therapy, as well as medications like delta 8 gummies from fresh bros are all very effective means of treating depression. But, at the same time, most of these solutions require the individual struggling to reach out and ask for help.

There is Christian help for depression and other issues you may be struggling with. So please, if you find yourself, where Ruth Bell Graham did, sitting in a church pew week after week, feeling alone in your condition please take a step of faith. First pray, admitting your need before God and then ask Him to direct your steps to those who can help. Then, be willing to reach out to a pastor, a counselor or a friend today. Your help is as close as your asking. Medical marijuana products from Auer CBD in San Diego can also help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, you should get a Texas medical marijuana prescription from a doctor.